a tale of two births, part אחד

January 17 was the estimated due date of child 2.0. After December 27, I was all ready to give birth immediately since it's safe (read: legal) to give birth at home instead of a hospital. But, as the days go by with nothing happening except my face suddenly and very quickly swelling up so that I look more and more like a bloated hippo, I resigned myself to giving birth much later after the due date as was the case with Declan.

Well, now we know that child 2.0 came two days before the doctors predicted. Yay! The best part of being pregnant and then delivering is all the answers one finally gets to know after much speculation and anticipation.

Petra Lilia Spector's birth is coupled in my mind as a study in contrasts with that of her brother, Declan Mikha'el Spector. Since I didn't really record Declan's birth on my blog (as it came into being after he did), it's nice to reminisce a little about him as I recount Petra's birth.

Declan was scheduled to be born in a hospital, with a midwife. I was referred to a friend of a friend as a doula very last-minutely. Since we were already paying for marital counseling at the time, I only became decided about having a doula when she said she'll help me free of charge.

Petra was scheduled to be born in my midwife's house, specifically her house's basement level. It's furnished as a cozy apartment, with a kitchen equipped with a hot plate and fridge, a large bathroom with a jacuzzi and a shower, a living room area, and a "dry birth" room with bed-on-the-floor and birthing stool. I was referred to my midwife through one of my best friends in Pittsburgh who had worked with an Israeli-Palestinian midwifery NGO. It turned out that she's an extremely well-known midwife who's often fully booked and therefore hard to get. I didn't know this until after we'd signed the contract. My doula this time was referred to me by an Israeli mom with similar parenting philosophy.

Whenever I imagined Petra's birth during this pregnancy, I kept returning to the template of Declan's timing... A bloody poop the afternoon before, uncomfortable contractions for that whole night, then a very audible popping sound as my water breaks, followed by progressively more intense contractions as the day wears on, the pain to be alleviated by counter-pressures (my Pittsburgh doula had amazingly strong hands) and eventually water immersion with bubbles until it's time to push as the medical personnels tell me to do. I had felt an urge to push while in the Magee jacuzzi during my labor with Declan, but since water births are illegal in Pennsylvania, they told me to resist the urge until they drained the tub and moved me onto the bed. By then, my contractions had left and I had pushed out of fear of the alternative (c-section). So this is one part --the part where you push -- in the labor phases I read about that I still feel really unclear about while waiting to give birth to Petra.