blue

It's another Friday-Saturday weekend again, something uniquely Israel which I'm still having difficulty getting used to even after more than five months of living here.

Maybe the weekends would feel less blah if I had friends, real friends, to hang out with here. I know nice people here, but they're either of the cocktail-party variety or we just don't know each other long enough yet to really be friends the way I have/had friends in the places before here. And now with two young kids in tow, it's that much harder to get connected and develop/deepen these friendships. Someone called earlier to ask if I want to have Shabbot dinner with them i.e. order in sushi and pizza and eat at their place. Which sounds truly lovely, except her place is hard to get to with kids, leaving them home is not a good option, and I have a fatigue headache anyway.

So the weekdays are stressful, and the weekends are still unpleasant. And this will continue for at least another year. I keep reminding myself that happiness is pointless/elusive as a goal. It is merely a lucky by-product, if it appears, of going through life fulfilling my responsibilities. Except...

I feel like I'm failing at life every day. The hours are in monochrome.