all in the life

Today has been such a crazy day. I don't even know where to start recounting it. Also, exhaustion. I wonder if that's how the Chinese government keep the population in submission--by draining everyone of any spare energy outside of what's needed to run around fulfilling paperwork. 

- Praise God that my son did not get crushed in the packed bus (I'm grateful they don't have people-pushers here like the ones for the subways in Tokyo. I seriously think there would be many deaths) we had to take after failing to flag down any of the taxis that drove past us in the rain. 
- Praise God for the numerous people on the bus who yelled at others to stop pushing on my son's behalf, for the elderly woman who actually motioned me over and gave up her seat so I could protect my son better, and for the gaggle of teenage girls who surrounded my son and me and shielded him from the crowd as well as entertained him during the whole bus ride.
- Praise God for all the ridiculously merciful acts of kindness that was showered on us at the public security office (letting us cut in line despite not having a queue number, etc) because my son's started to cry towards the end.
- Praise God that we got assigned a new and far more conscientious handler from the university who's becoming a good friend at this point.
- Praise God that we met the visa deadline right before a three-day weekend (Happy Mid-Autumn Festival!), even though the permanent resident process is still far from over. (Explanation to follow.)

We need prayer for actually securing the permanent resident status. The Chinese embassy in Chicago was supposed to have notarized our marriage certificate so that my son and I could get residency through my husband. Since I had acquired a z-visa through the legitimacy of our marriage certificate, anyone with common sense should figure that our certificate is real. But, alas, blind bureaucracy rules. Gotta keep a billion people employed somehow. So we need to traipse north to Beijing to get it certified before my son and I can try again for residency. Right now we're officially tourists, allowed entry for six more months. My husband, meanwhile, FINALLY secured his expert card, thanks to many nagging phone calls by our handler and more cuteness from my son. But will need to extend his residency after his "real" health insurance kicks in.

I felt less bad about how long this process is taking after our handler told us that, in order for him to transfer his residence from his previous hometown of Shandong to Hangzhou, it took him six visits to the public security office and well over half a year.

what the heck *yawn* / hodgepodge of thoughts

I don't know why I'm so freaking tired lately. It's only around 10pm right now and I am exhausted...have been since 7:30pm...The only reason why I'm up is because this is the only down time I have where it's just me, by myself. No clingy baby who has learned to whine incessantly. No husband in need of processing today's new discoveries. I am a bit sapped out, and am very grateful for this gap in the space-time continuum to just...veg.

Everything is so much harder here. My husband wondered aloud tonight: "China is a bad place with kind people, while the U.S. is a nice place with mean people." What he meant was that there are so many environmental issues in this densely-packed, bureaucratically-stifling country, but the people we've encountered for the most part are kind and eager to help us out. In the States, we are surrounded by beautiful green spaces with wonderfully clean air, but strangers tend to keep to themselves. Very cool and aloof. And, in my case, overtly racist on many occasions. In response to his comment, I wondered why Americans aren't happier that they live in such a beautiful country? I certainly didn't fully appreciate it until now. Maybe that's it. O ingratitude that blinds.

My husband's planning to attend a math conference in Beijing towards the end of this month. I have the choice of being here by myself with the baby or traveling via high speed rail with him up north. The rail has mixed reviews regarding safety. Hm. The last time I was in Beijing was about 15 years ago. I should probably go again...but how will this affect our son's sleep/wake schedule, which is finally starting to form some kind of pattern? Traveling is so much easier without a child. I *am* grateful that by then he would be 10 months old. He's starting to show his own will in very specific and insistent ways, and his strong little personality and idiosyncrasies crack. me. up. Like how he likes to bounce up and down to my cell phone's ringtone every time it rings. Or when he gets tired but still wants to keep playing, how he would squat and rest his head on the floor while his butt and arms still wiggle around. Crazy kid.

As of now, I don't foresee us staying here for longer than my husband's current contract of three and a half years. I'm also leaning away from the possibility of doing my PhD here. Maybe after our son turns one year old, I'll look into part-time teaching at this company that a friend here could refer me to. I'm definitely sure, God willing, that I won't plan to have another child until after we leave for who knows which new city. According to the World Health Organization, the optimal time between siblings is between two and four years anyway.

quick update

I had, just a moment ago, written the most brilliant blog post ever about the greatest things in life. But then the internet conked out and the heartbreakingly wonderful strings of words got trashed somewhere into the infernal space of Buddhist hell.

Suffice it to say, I'm glad to be able to access blogger again. I wonder why blogger's banned but not wordpress in China. Oh, the mysteries of life. Or at least the irrational, odd workings of the Chinese government's mind.

almost there

Today might be the last day we stay at the hotel. Even though our stay is subsidized by Zhejiang University, there's still something so luxurious in concept about living at a hotel that I'm growing more and more uncomfortable about staying here and increasingly eager to move into our (small) apartment.

We've turned on the electric and water. We've hired a cleaning lady to clean the entire apartment except for the windows and stove (which doesn't come with her package). We've arranged for new A/C units to replace the broken ones. We've bought new bedding, pillows, towels, kitchen appliances, and line-dry equipment. Today, the wireless internet guy's scheduled to come and set things up, and our washing machine needs to be replaced in order to handle my son's dirty diapers and our growing mound of sweat-stained clothes.

We are almost ready to check out and move in, officially.

Quick observations that are marked differences from how things are in the States:

1. People don't eat much meat here at all. Between my husband and me, we've probably eaten the equivalent of a chicken drumstick in meat quantity so far in the entire week we've been here. Meals here are predominantly vegetables and tofu of various kinds with lots and lots of white rice. Even when you order dishes with meat as part of their names.

2. Cigarette smoking is everywhere.

3. Babies are the most effective icebreaker between strangers. Random people everywhere would stop and grab or pat my son without greeting me or my husband. It was a bit startling at first; I think we're used to it now. It's really nice to see people making funny faces at my son wherever we go, especially because otherwise they would just stare at my very white husband and me like we're elephants that escaped from a zoo.

4. I used to think that the U.S. is the most expensive place to live. It's been really surprising during our one-day stop in Canada and now daily shopping in China to discover that, actually, the cost of living is pretty much the same abroad too. And with even less options.

5. Manual labor, cell phone plans, and internet service are still cheaper than in the States though.

On a quiet note, I've been having headaches and nausea quite a lot lately. We're going to try the pregnancy test again in two more weeks. Mixed feelings on what I would like the outcome to be.

spotty internet, so I shall be brief

Here in Hangzhou. Still exhausted, but can't sleep. Baby sleeping, so I'll expect him to not sleep tonight. It will be like when he's a newborn again. Since I now have experience, it doesn't scare me. I'm just grateful that he's doing well so far. Upon seeing the city, and where we'll be living, I have decided I won't have another kid until we're on our way out. We'll see. Maybe it gets better. Husband has gone off with a colleague to register with all the authorities. We are not in Kansas anymore.

E.J., you were so wrong to scoff at my concerns when you asked me how I felt about the impending move and I shared honestly. Then again, you are not a new mother and you haven't lived in China since you were a teenager; neither did you have to make all the decisions for your family's well-being, so I forgive you based on your immense ignorance.

I am thankful to God in getting us here so far. Over the four hour train ride, then the thirteen hour flight, with the power going off halfway and the last meal skipped due to excessive turbulence, then the three hour car ride while holding an unrestrained baby, all of us exhausted. If nothing else, this place makes me wish I have a stronger relationship with God. That in itself should be recognized as a wonderful thing.

my love affair with Seattle

- The crisp weather even in summer (compared to the roasting sauna that is Pittsburgh summer)

- Small but oh-so-delicious places to eat, like Uneeda Burger, Red Mills, Paseo, Facing East, Hiroki's, Caffe Vita, Dot's... just a few new places I've visited on this trip so far, not mentioning old favorites. And authentic, satisfying pho.

- Friendly people everywhere and polite drivers that actually yield to pedestrians.

- Green Lake. Woodland Park Zoo. Both walking distance from C.L.'s apartment.

- Lots of free neighborhood events, like a geo-caching block party.

- Farmers' markets galore!

And, of course, my friends and friends of friends that go way back and with whom I can really chill and be very silly with.

I'm glad I was able to make this stop prior to Tuesday's training it to Vancouver and flying away from this continent. Being able to rest up before the next exhausting stretch of travel is a wonderful luxury as well.

we're here! we're here!

In Seattle, that is. I have so many praises, but I'm too tired to really go into everything in detail. It's important though to remember flashes of this intense gratitude. For my husband who touted all the heaviest things from Pittsburgh to Memphis to C.L's. For my son who slept the majority of the time on both flights that totaled seven hours (the flights, not the nap lengths--otherwise that would *really* be something, wouldn't it?). It makes me a little less apprehensive about the 13 hour long flight awaiting us in about five days.

For friends in Pittsburgh who made it a point to hang out and make dinner for my little family every single night during our last week, who humored my excitement in planting a hibiscus plant on top of my son's placenta, now buried in our dear friends' yard. For prayers on our behalf, encouraging us and speaking with God regarding our fast approaching future with all its great unknowns. For all the family and friends who drove us to and fro and stayed up with us to repack all of our remaining belongings.

For C.L. taking the day off work and renting a zip car all day so our burdens were quickly and thankfully relieved for the moment. I am so, so blessed for all these undeserved blessings and wonderful gifts in my life. All these people, all their love. Thank You, God, so much.