I'm sorry to keep whining on about it, especially because c-sections are nowadays so routine that about one in four births in Taiwan happens via this abdominal surgery. But I'm having a hard time accepting it, for some reason. That I had my stomach cut open and my baby pulled out of me a week and a half ago. That, unlike my previous two natural births, I'm still in pain and wearing a stomach binder to get around gingerly. That I won't be able to feel safe about swimming or exercising lightly for another 2-3 months. That by the time I can really put this surgery behind me and stow it purely in my memories, the baby will be half an year old.
It was just such a surprise, I suppose. And to not feel a sense of victory and empowerment like in the aftermath of my previous two births. Still, I may be romanticizing natural birth recoveries a bit. Even though I was able to get around pretty soon after Petra's birth, there were still lots of aches and pains and blood.
Gradually, I'm becoming okay with having had to go through this surgery. I still wonder if not being forced to go to the hospital when we did could have changed things, but that's over and done with. In a way, it's good that I have this built-in slow-me-down condition now, because the three months long timespan that I've settled on before I start using my pool pass again is the same timespan as the so-called fourth trimester. An enforced rest period in which I bond with the newborn instead of focusing on getting back in shape is not a bad thing. I just hope I'll still be able to take the kids to New Taipei City and Taipei for the Christmas festivities being held in those cities before their deadlines.
Parenting three children and all of them being happy about it? Can I do this?
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