Tears of sympathy and also anger.
Sympathy as I read the news and watch the numbers of rockets and Palestinian casualties climb. Wincing at the danger everyone within rocket range is still in, and knowing how the death of innocents will be used for hate propaganda that only serves to stop peace negotiations. I cry helplessly as I watch and dream of video coverages of both Israeli and Palestinian children running in terror to the closest "safe" place as the shrill sound of rocket grows louder.
Anger because friends with limited access to up-to-date information are spouting insensitive and over-simplistic rhetoric on facebook, not to mention irrelevant. The fundamental issues of land rights and state sovereignty should be discussed, yes, but could we focus right now on how ceasefire should be achieved right now? I can understand Arab fb users calling the Israelis all sorts of derogatory names based on a decades-long grudge caused by a variety of reasons, but what the hell are my American friends getting all riled up about in complete favor of one side without any regard for the suffering and danger that ordinary civilians on the other side are also experiencing right fucking now?
I am by turns so glad I'm here in the Middle East during this current violence, because I'm really starting to understand more of the situation from both sides. And it's not weird for me to care so much and spend so much time researching up on the issues because my family's here, and we can't leave as a lot of moms I've been talking to are thinking given that I'm so pregnant at this point. And by turns kind of wistful about my previous disinterestedness, because it's been a really emotional couple of days encountering all sorts of comments that I could have let pass in the past, but now feel responsible in responding to. I feel a great deal of the important issues in hand are being muddied and I cannot simply stand aside and watch that continue.
God, I can only pray. In the end, only You are in control.
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