slow progress

I am almost too weary to write, except that now I really wish I had kept more of a record during my first year in Pittsburgh. It was a similar situation as it is now, as I live each day unsure of what the next will be. Or if we're even going anywhere at all. And any record of living in the moment back then might help alleviate the daily stress now.

Still no apartment. Lots of calls back that the places we were interested in got rented already. We went to see a place that is pretty nice and is within our cost range out of our savings for the determined period of time that we're willing to pay while still unemployed. As we were deliberating regarding this place that was just posted on craigslist a few hours ago (and we got there soon after), a woman that showed up to see the place as well five minutes after us decided to take it.

So there's that. I did get a part-time job today, after a phone interview and a face-to-face interview downtown. It pays well and is fairly interesting. Unfortunately, it's only for two days a week, so I'll be able to pay for our groceries but that's about it for now. Another interview offer came, for a part-time job position that pays all right and would add another $600 to my monthly paycheck if I get the job. HOWEVER, it would require me to work on weekends, and the block of work-time is long enough to prevent Daniel and me from sharing childcare duties in the event that Daniel gets a job too.

After tortured deliberations, I had to reply a sad decline. Argh.

It's nice to know that I'm hirable though, and far better than sending out ten job applications when I first arrived in Pittsburgh and not hearing anything at all from any of the organizations.

I'm excited about the opportunity to officially work again, and a downtown job at that. Still, we are essentially continuing to operate on our savings, and that worries me. I have never been in debt, and I hope we won't come to that. Far from it.

This time has been really challenging regarding my attitude/dependence on money, especially in relation to my faith in God. It is also challenging me regarding thankfulness. I catch myself thinking at times: Oh, if only Daniel (or I) have that position that can cover all of our expenses! Then I would be happy/content/grateful.

Really? I am not already fall-on-my-knees thankful for what God has done, is doing, and will do for me and my family? It's ludicrous. Really. And so I give thanks, during this chaotic, uncertain, scary, humbling time.