My own life is pretty placid in comparison. I take care of the apartment, our dinners, the child. I read when I have the time and clean as much as I could. Our house church here is starting to partner with an orphan's hospital. The only hospital for orphans in the entire province of Zhejiang, 20 minutes by bus from where I live. I held a baby who's awaiting a cleft palate operation; I wanted to take her home so she could belong to a loving family instead of mostly lying on a cot by herself all day. Our pastor's wife delivered their third child last Tuesday, and they're heavily fined for not opting for an abortion instead. We the church are helping them at this time.
It took a long time for my professional ambition to die, or at least, go completely dormant without the bursts of intense mourning of my personal goals in life. Which had never included a husband, kids, building a home. Quite the opposite--I dreamed of being free and completely independent during all the nights I rubbed my swollen, beaten wrists/arms/wherever while crying softly to sleep in bed.
Strangely, I feel more at peace now. I am learning to have a more thankful heart and be content in all circumstances (beginning with this one).
