problem

I have a very real problem. I cannot get myself to go to sleep at a reasonable hour. Every morning, I wake up vowing that when *this* day ends, I will be disciplined and put away my tablet or ebook and just close my eyes in bed next to my daughter and go to sleep by 11:30pm. Yet every day for the last two weeks, I have been sleeping at 2am or 3am. It's exhausting, may be part of why I have been so depressed and morose, and does not do my sense of life any favors.

Why do I keep doing this? Why can't I seem to stop?

Could it be just a symptom of how unhappy I am with my life right now? How I can't stand to just roll over and admit the end of another day in which I have done little that brings me personal joy? Could it be that I've just given up on fighting for any semblance of a disciplined life? That I have given in to slothfulness?

Trying again tonight to sleep at a more reasonable hour, and trying to make that stick for the next seven days. Sigh.