I am aware that my blog layout currently kind of sucks, both color and template. It's strangely fitting of how my body's been feeling constantly though, so I won't be changing it until things in that department improves. Hopefully in the second trimester.
In other news, calloo callay! A minuscule small feat for stay-at-home and/or single moms who must shoulder all the child care and housekeeping all the time, but an unprecedented didn't-know-how-I-was-going-to-do-it accomplishment: I kept both Declan and myself relatively alive and well while Daniel was away for a week. I switched to using all disposable diapers for that period of time so I didn't need to scratch out Declan's poop from the usual cloth diapers, which would surely had induced severe bouts of vomiting from my combination of highly sensitive sense of smell and all-day-no-holds-bar morning sickness. (I still remember when I tried to use an old toothbrush to do the job, and Declan got ahold of it. I caught him just as he was putting the poop-laden brush head to his lips. SO. GROSS.) Last night, while walking to a farewell dinner (of sorts) with some friends, I went into a bout of dry heaving by the side of the road after passing by a homeless person. I felt really bad for doing so, but the typical alcohol/dried pee mix was overwhelming.
Now all that is left is packing and giving away things. I am really grateful for the few but very loyal friends we have in Seattle, who spent pockets of time with me during my last week of solitude with the toddler and who are now helping us clear out the apartment. I really don't know what kind of community we will find in Israel. I only know that we will really need one.
It's funny how I literally did not have any chance to keep up with Facebook last week, and finally browsed my usual dose just now while Daniel's out with the toddler. The funny part is that I felt quite freed despite the "deprivation." The first five minutes of reconnecting was constructive, in catching up on baby shower pictures of a close friend in Pittsburgh and some other conversations, then it turned into a bit of grapevine gossiping in seeing what friends of friends are up to. Up goes my snark antenna, but I especially shouldn't give a damn anymore how some people behave or do or say. Their lives have nothing to do with mine anymore. Who cares if they are balls of self-righteous contradictions?
In conclusion, I think--once again--that Facebook is more bad for me than good, especially now that I no longer share pictures with family and friends using that medium. Unlike the past three times I've killed my account, only to find being abroad and a stay-at-home mom too isolating without fb, I think I'll just go more dormant like surprisingly a large amount of my friends... and actually do more letter or post-card writing, or even Skyping, as a real alternative to keeping in touch.
I hope tomorrow's flight across the Pacific Ocean will go well, and not too exhaustingly.
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